“And I would tell him, as we rise into the air, The curse is not that we cannot choose our Fates.
The curse, the curse we all live under, is that we can.”
― Alexander Chee, The Queen of the Night
We have all been living under a curse.
It’s one that makes us believe that some of us are inherently better than others who are unlike ourselves; that some races, or genders, or sexualities, or abilities are less deserving of dignity, are less than human.
This curse demands we see strangers as invaders, as threats, instead of as neighbors, as allies, as family.
We have all been living under a curse. And a cure for it just might be another curse.
Before I get accused of misogyny for the title of this piece, let me just say that it was a conscious and deliberate choice. “A Curse Upon My Countrymen” is the curse that men everywhere have been living under. A curse that closes our eyes and hardens our hearts to the suffering of others. It is a curse that poisons us, that makes us delight in the pain of another, rather than to feel our own.
It is a curse that defines men by not being women. It is a curse of shame upon any man who would lower themselves to be like a woman, and so it is no wonder that men, collectively, denigrate women. If we have been programed from the beginning to feel shame for sharing traits considered “womanly” then it is no wonder that men often consider women to be lesser. Women become property, symbols of status, all to impress other men.
The curse of patriarchy is real. It’s a lie so deeply ingrained in our culture that most fail to even see it, assuming that it is “natural,” or “sanctioned by God.” That it “has always been this way,” and that “it shall always be like this.”
Lies repeated often are still untrue. But they serve their purpose. To keep us hopeless. To keep us small. To keep us fighting amongst ourselves when the true villains are pulling the strings and cashing the checks.
Most women, as well as those with non-conforming genders, know all too well the sting of this curse. It is present in the threats of violence they receive, the acts of violence they endure, the infringement of bodily autonomy, the harassment, the rapes. It is there when a man in authority murders a woman and then calls her a “fucking bitch.” And it is there when other men rally around such statements, justifying the violence, the hatred, the murder.
“A Curse Upon My Countrymen,” is specific, if only because I think to look elsewhere is to ignore the elephant in the room. Sure, women and other genders can be – and sometimes are – abusive, so why only focus solely on the men? And why not globally? Why focus just the United States?
The answer is twofold: First, men are overwhelmingly the perpetrators of violence and control as well as being the primary recipients of the benefits patriarchy provides us. And second, because I identify as a cisgender white man, I first have to face my own participation in perpetuating the oppressive system, however consciously or unconsciously. This is not “apologizing for being a white man,” or whatever racist nonsense the Right would have us believe. Magic begins within and it demands personal responsibility and accountability. So, I acknowledge the privileges I have in society that have been afforded me because of my race and gender, and I pledge to use my voice and my magic to help create a world that is more equitable for everyone. (So must it be.)
Map of the United States [Deposit Photos]
As for why I am choosing to focus just on the United States: Quite simply: I think we’re the biggest problem right now. On the back of supposed “American Exceptionalism” we have dug ourselves into a hole from which we can only hope to climb our way out of in our lifetimes. We lavishly feed billionaires while allowing a growing number of average citizens to fall deeper into poverty to starve and struggle without access to quality and affordable healthcare. We’re now lashing out at our allies and threatening sovereign nations with invasion. We’re reduced on the world-stage to the role of a child throwing a tantrum who just happens to also have a bunch of nukes. We have the potential to make it everyone else’s problem, and that makes us dangerous. For the sake of the world, we need a “time out.”
“A Curse Upon My Countrymen” includes all this that has bound us to our current path, but it is also a response to it. To fight fire with fire, let us cast this spell upon the men of this nation.
“#NotAllMen,” I can hear some of you say. “Surely you’re not suggesting we curse all the men in the US?”
“Yes,” I say. “Each and every one.”
We begin with our intention:
A curse upon the heart of man,
to soften to another’s pain
or
The Curse of Empathy
Anatomical drawing of a human heart [Deposit Photos]
This spell was written specifically with men in mind but can be used by anyone with a human heart.
Ask yourself: When was the first time you felt empathy? Perhaps someone was hurt or injured, and you felt a strange sort of shared pain. Or maybe their pain was emotional, stirring something deep within you that made you feel connected.
When was the last time you felt empathy? What were the circumstances?
Bring these feelings into this working.
Items needed:
- A candle of any color that to you represents compassion and empathy
- Matches or a lighter
- An image of an anatomical human heart
- A small bowl of water with some salt added
- A small amount of anointing oil
- A map of the United States
- A pen, marker, or paint and a brush
- The Tower, the Star, and the King of Cups cards from any tarot deck
- Any other tools that you feel are necessary to assist in the raising and directing magical will
To begin, gather your materials and arrange the working area with the map acting as a central focal point. If your working area is arranged like a clock, with the map in the center, place the Star card above the map at 12:00, face down, with the Tower card covering it, face up. Place the candle at 6:00 and the King of Cups on the map in the center. Arrange whatever other tools or items you may have in a manner that is pleasing to you.
Ground and center.
If it is your custom, cast a circle or otherwise formally designate ritual space. Invoke whatever spirits, ancestors, or deities with whom you would normally work, or that feels appropriate to you. Cleanse yourself with the salted water and sprinkle some all around you and your working area.
Light the candle and affirm the goal of the working. You may wish to say something like:
I call unto the heart of man
To open like a gentle hand
and join with others now in kindness
To heal here the heart-sick blindness.
Anoint yourself with the oil.
Place the image of the heart on the map, centered on where you live. This is your heart. Using your pen or other implement, draw upon the heart the astrological glyph for Mars, while concentrating on the collective unconsciousness of all men in the country. Just imagine a connecting link that joins together all men… a nexus of the collective male experience, anchored in each of our hearts. Traditionally this is often conceived as the Horned God, but just allow yourself to tune into this power as if like a frequency on a radio, letting your imagination guide you, and allowing it to come in whatever form –if any– it will. Notice whatever sensations may arise and especially where in your body you might perceive them. Imagine this as being anchored in your beating heart. Dab some of the oil on the image of the heart and then dab a bit on your own heart-center.
Astrological glyph for Mars, often used as a symbol for the male sex. [Deposit Photos]
Focusing on the web of connections, begin to raise energy, using whatever preferred method you wish. You might perform chanting, singing, dancing, breathing techniques, sex, or even a spirited recitation of a poem or prayer that is in alignment with the goals of the work, to tear down emotional barriers and awaken empathy. If nothing else, you can even just read aloud the following:
Bolt of lightning, sent from heaven
Strikes the tower, watch it fall
From your slumber, now awaken!
Within our hearts we feel the call.
I giveth sight to the blindest eye
I giveth flame to the coldest heart
I holdeth a mirror to the face of the demon
I bringeth a candlelight into the dark
I speaketh his name, to bind and compel him
I bathe him in fire from my holy spark.
The walls around our hearts now fall
The walls around our hearts now fall
The walls around our hearts now fall
The pain done to others is done unto all.
I curse you with a human heart!
I curse you with a human heart!
I curse you with a human heart,
That breaks, and grieves, and heals, and loves,
May you break and become larger
Through pain may you wake thy soul.
When you feel you have raised a sufficient charge, release it from your heart and into the web of connections, as you flip over the Tower to reveal the Star card, one of hope and renewal.
Snuff the candle or let it burn down all the way.
Your own heart is now like a transmitter, sending this magical “signal” outward to all you encounter, whether it be in person, or even in your online interactions. This signal will shine into their heart and then from them into another, and another, and another, spreading the seeds of empathy everywhere it is needed.
This is, by no means, to suggest that this approach is the only valid one. If you feel called to call the forces of darkness and destruction down upon this administration, I completely understand and completely support you in that work. This here is the work that I am called to do right now. Even if you do not connect with the approach I offer here, perhaps this will offer some small inspiration to motivate you to do the magic that actually calls to you. We need it all right now.
Be well, keep fighting the good fight, and practice with joy the sin of empathy. May your curses help change the world.
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