I have always worn my politics on my sleeve. As a queer man who grew up during the AIDS crises, I took to heart the slogan of the famous activist group, Act UP, when they asserted “silence equals death.” There it became one of my guiding principles of my life. This has meant speaking up when I see injustices in the world, even if (and maybe especially if) it feels uncomfortable to do so. And it feels like there has been just so much to call out over the past several years. So much, that it has been exhausting.
I think most of us are having some pretty big feelings right now. The world feels like it has been a dumpster fire for far too long, and the recent U.S. election has made things feel so much worse – at least for the majority of the people in my life. I have heard from many of my friends and students stories of feeling hopeless, demoralized, depressed, and anxious about what life will be like under a second administration from Donald “I need the kind of generals that Hitler had” Trump. I immediately saw large numbers of my friends posting crises hotline numbers for organizations like Trans Lifeline and The Trevor Project, while a couple people whom I thought were friends were celebrating another term with the Orange Menace.
The sun setting in the mountain [Pixabay]
I told one such person, one of my earliest occult teachers, how disappointed I was in her when I saw them celebrating his electoral victory on Facebook. I was shocked that this person —who had once been so aware of the dangerous far-right themes that lurk in some occult philosophies and systems—voted for the guy who was endorsed by literal Neo-Nazis.
Her followers were quick to deride me for trying to shame someone for their political opinions, telling me how “wild” it was that I would include my identity as a queer person in my explanation of how terrible this would be for marginalized people. It was a reminder that a lot of people are simply so disconnected from anyone outside themselves that they can’t see anything beyond their own lives and intentions. But intentions, as the saying goes, are less important than impact.
Even if they did see, would they care? It’s not like the information hasn’t been out in the open for all to see. I honestly think most of them couldn’t care less about how they might be impacting others in a negative way. As long as they get theirs, screw everyone else. Empathy seems to be a recessive trait, these days.
Where in the past I might have pursued it further, I realized long ago that this is mostly a waste of energy that could be better directed at doing something positive, for myself and/or the world. Arguing with people online might give us a rush of adrenaline or a temporary boost to our egos, but ultimately it does very little to change anyone’s mind.
This isn’t to say that it should never be done; I think it’s important to speak out whenever we see injustices, especially when those injustices involve groups of people who are particularly vulnerable. The marginalized and dispossessed deserve visible allies. Call it “virtue signaling” if you want, but it lifts my cold and jaded heart when I see a straight person speak out to protect the dignity of trans and other queer folk. It gives me hope. And that’s a feeling that I would like to share with others when I can. Hope. Without it and we wither and die.
But it’s hard to feel hopeful in the face of so much violence and gaslighting. That is why it is important to periodically disconnect from the noise and reconnect with our inner natures. To “touch grass,” as the often-snarky internet memes suggest. Toward this end, let us apply our magic.
When we are overwhelmed, or feeling depressed, or are in despair, we need to change the vibe and recharge our batteries. This will look different for each of us, but there are some things that many people will find helpful. What I am offering here is a simple rite of self-healing in the form of a “magical spa day,” of sorts.
This is a version of what I wrote for the full moon subscribers over at ModernWitch.com. Each month I write a spell or ritual and then send out a box with a few items to perform that rite, most often along with an MP3 audio component, such as a guided meditation. For this, since I am not sending you a box of supplies, you will have to provide everything yourself.
Sensual Healing Rite
For this rite you will engage in some form of sensual relaxation, such as soaking in a bath, lounging in a hammock, using a moisturizing mask, or even just stretching out on the couch listening to music. Decide for yourself how you can best relax.
Items needed:
- A candle
- Sliced cucumber & fruit
- A pitcher of water (or a pot of tea)
- A glass, cup, or mug
- A paper and a pen
- A plate or small dish
- A cauldron or fire-safe container
- Matches or a lighter
- Optional: Bath salts, oils, incense, or anything else that you feel brings a sensual pleasure to your relaxation.
Begin by slicing the cucumbers and fruit. Place some of each in the pitcher of water and put in the refrigerator to chill. (If you do not like cucumber or fruit in your water you may omit them.) Alternatively, you may make a pot of your favorite herbal tea, instead.
Cucumber and lemon water [be_stasya, Pixabay]
Light the candle. Breathe deeply and relax. In silence, sip your water or tea. Be present with the sensations of the liquid on your tongue. Be aware of the temperature and the flavor.
Taking the pen and paper and make two columns. On one side, list several things that you wish to be free of. These can be bad habits, obstacles, or annoyances – anything that tends to block you from your serenity and your physical and emotional comfort. On the other side, list things in your life that you are grateful for. Enjoy your beverage as you do this.
If you are going to take a bath, fill the tub now. (Add any bath salts or oils just before you get in to maximize their potency.)
When the fruit water is chilled (or your tea is ready) pour yourself a glass or a cup and take two of the cucumber slices and place them on a plate or dish alongside some pieces of fruit.
Take your paper and tear apart the two columns. Holding the list of obstacles, light it from the candle and place it in the cauldron, allowing it to burn to ash.
Enter the tub and/or apply your eye mask or otherwise engage in whatever self-care or relaxing activity you have chosen.
Place two of the cucumber slices over your eyes.
Relax, focusing on the sensual nature of the present moment.
From memory, recall an item from your gratitude list, noticing how it makes you feel. Check in with your body. Where do you feel it? How do you feel it?
Imagine this sensation is like a light, shining around and within you.
Imagine you can breathe through this light to move and shape it. Will it to expand, filling your body. Imagine that you are soaking in its healing power. Trust that this power is subtly shifting your consciousness, leading you toward your highest ideals.
Repeat for at least two more list items.
As you bask in the light of sensuality and gratitude, imagine that you are in a space of perfect stillness and calm. You are aware of the chaos of the world spinning around you, while you remain untouched and calm.
Return to stillness each time you find yourself getting agitated or your mind wandering.
When finished, take a deep breath and remind yourself of your surroundings. Check in with your body and imagine as many details as you can about your immediate environment.
Remove the cucumbers from your eyes and/or your eye mask. Open your eyes and just observe each of your senses.
Extinguish the candle.
It is done.
*
The fruit may be eaten in reverence while reading your gratitude list and/or may be given as an offering to whatever spirits or gods with whom you work, or as an offering to your own higher self.
Place your gratitude list on your altar or tape to your bathroom mirror as a reminder of those things in your life for which you are grateful. Being reminded of these things can help to uplift our thoughts in subtle —but over time, significant— ways.
Whenever you start to feel stressed or agitated, take a moment to breathe deeply and remember that sensation of returning to stillness. Repeat this rite whenever you wish.
*
In the face of all that we fear may be coming, we need to take the time to regularly immerse ourselves in joy and gratitude. This will give us the strength to avoid or heal burnout, so that we can continue to fight for what we know to be the most important: each other.
And in between magical spa days, check out this article with 10 things you can do right now to help weather the oncoming storm.
Be well, my friends.
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