While I was learning about Witchcraft and Paganism in Venezuela, a lot of the information was in English. I started reading books and watching videos, all of them in a different language, and I grew up in a family that prayed in Arabic, studied in a Catholic school that prayed in Spanish, learned reiki with a few words in Japanese, and now I’m in the U.S.A., speaking English. I started thinking, which language should I use, then?
A Sign of Respect
Although I never felt confused about my identity as a multicultural Witch, I started to wonder if the language I used would make a difference. I didn’t think the spirits and energies I worked with would care about it, but I do. Language is part of who I am, what I say, the feelings I experience, and there are words that are not completely translated from one to the other.
While studying reiki, I was told that even if I made grammatical mistakes while writing, that would be okay – but it didn’t feel right to me. I’m a writer; I care about my words, and I use my word processor’s correction tool obsessively. I don’t like mistakes, I don’t like misspellings, and I consider it a sign of respect to myself, my craft, and the reader, to do as best as I can.
Why would I do it differently if the readers were spirits, the universe, life, a god or gods, or whatever? In fact, I felt this was another, if not bigger, reason to do it right.
The same thing happened while I was here. I started praying in English when I came to the United States, and it worked, time and time again. But it still felt different, like I was missing something. And I was also conscious that I could have been overthinking (and maybe I am even now, writing this). But again, it was important to me.
Drawing a Line
I started trying different things, to see what felt better, what resonated with me, and so on. In the end, even though I know it doesn’t matter for practical purposes, I drew a line that makes me feel much more comfortable.
When I’m at home or with Latin people, I use Spanish. It’s a sign of respect to the land I grew up in, remembering the values and charisma of Venezuela, the easy-going nature and happiness that permeates everything even during hardship.
When I pray to my blood ancestors, I use Arabic. My Arabic is rudimentary, flawed, even lacking at times. It’s challenging, but it’s a sign of respect to my roots, my origin, a history older than my veins, and a land filled with myths and legends I’m learning as I approach my thirties. And also, because it was the first language I learned to speak, even though I lost it when I started school.
Out of my home, when I’m learning from books and new friends, I use English. The U.S.A. is a land that’s letting me become who I am, and so I speak with freedom, making verses with ease and joy, a sign of respect to the land that received me to try again, to do it better, and welcomed me as an asylum seeker and refugee.
These lines are not set in stone, of course. I recently lost my phone on a bus and panicked. I searched for it while on the bus and even walked the street several times trying to find it. I made a promise in Spanish, repeating “quiero mi teléfono”, I want my phone, over and over and over, until I gave up. The next day, I was told it was found and I could go get it at the bus station.
Does it matter?
This made me think that maybe it doesn’t matter that much what language I’m using, as long as it’s coming from the heart and I am honest. However, keeping those ideas present, being mindful of who I’m interacting with, and what might be the best option gives me the confidence I need to do what I need to do.
When I find someone who speaks both English and Spanish, I ask them which language they prefer, and if they don’t care, but if I notice one being the one they’re more fluent at, that’s the one I use. I’m basically applying the same logic in my spiritual practice.
For me, it’s a way of recognizing the cultures, the practices, and the energies I’m interacting with. It’s a way of staying respectful, mindful, and comfortable when doing spiritual work, whichever it might be, and it’s working for me so far.
I mean, I do have my phone back – without even a scratch.
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