When I think of what I have learned the most over the past two years, my memory is a physical one: I feel drained. Life transforms into an obligatory trudging through the slog of days, as each one blurs into the next. Formerly common pleasures, while slowly coming back into focus, for the most part remain a part of the landscape that is separated into the realities of before and after.
The current landscape is like a bright, yellow, daffodil flower that perks up from the ground in anticipation of spring renewal. Its dazzling bright color reminds me that how I spend my time now matters more than it has in the past. Linda Ellis’s poem, “The Dash,” recalls the importance of time between birth and death.
In James Baldwin‘s essay, “The Creative Process,” he describes the artist’s role as the purveyor of truth and battler with with society and its perceived norms. This seems to properly define current post-March 2020 life for me and for many others. The role of the artist is to be fully human: life presents challenges that each of us solves on a daily basis. Baldwin asserts how society presents a “bulwark between inner and outer chaos.” This realization too often occurs after an artist’s death, hence the frequent honoring of a person’s impact when they are no longer here to appreciate it.
Mapping the past and present is one way of finding a solution to the energetic drain of everyday life at this point. Each of us is the artist in our own lives, as a basic requirement of being human is the will to survive. Money is not the ultimate solution, since mental and physical health cannot be fully supported just by tossing increasing amounts of currency at these issues.
I submit that the current “Great Resignation” is not just a physical transition of a great number of people from jobs formerly held pre-pandemic, but an energetic one. We need to interact with each other as a means of maintaining our essence as human beings. Jokes that hold the humor about Zoom fatigue reemphasize why a physical connection is not optional for humans.
The question of buying the ability to choose how we spend our time is not a trivial one. Responses vary; however, spending time in a job or a career appears to take at least one third of a day, and by extension, one-third of a life. The American Time Use Survey gives a snapshot of how much time we spend in our work.
The Great Pause varies depending on where we live on the planet, and on what each person chooses on a daily basis is how and where to spend one’s time. Is our time valuable enough that the energetic exchange we perform daily worth more than just the things we are able to buy with money? For many, the choice to effect change occurs when we are out of balance.
When what we do to pay for our living quarters, put food in our bellies, clothe ourselves, and entertain ourselves brings more angst than even reasonable pleasure, then it is time: we can choose to look at our lives and to reconsider our options. For some, this means leaving a job or career that robs the soul of some vital sustaining essence. For others, this means choosing to switch up where, how, and with whom one lives. For me, it means finding what home means at this time.
I find the gift of this continuing post-March 2020 time is an acceptance of my true needs as a human being. When I notice others changing careers, leaving the country, choosing to marry or divorce, and choosing to try new things, I see these gifts working in others’ lives.
Recent trends in minimalism and decluttering flourish precisely because when we do them, we create space and time. When one chooses to spark joy, either in the manner of Marie Kondo, or the opposite with Swedish Death Cleaning, the result is a banishing of physical and energetic space.
The literal appearance of openness reflects and can open the way to find what works for the individual. I use questions to carve a clearer path when the future appears stagnant.
Is a career only about the material gains that pass for satisfaction? Does my heart sing when I work? Is the big screen television to watch the game worth three or four weeks’ pay? Do we stay in a job to maintain a certain lifestyle? Do we have career envy for friends or family who appear to be happier than we are?
During these cloudy times, I find that the physical acts of walking, cleaning, and drinking clean water helpful. Each dispels stagnant energy and invites clarity of thought and spirit.
Is home geographically where the body needs to be for best physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological growth? Intuitively, the home where one sleeps is valuable real estate, permitting vulnerability and the chance to let the skin breathe. If home is no longer safe or nurturing for the soul, the choice to move geographically or to leave a relationship emotionally makes sense.
Are the people who are no longer around on an everyday or even every week basic in touchable, physical form the ones who make life sing? When we do not connect with our co-workers, our family members, or our friends in person, our chemistry changes due to lack of physical presence and contact.
Virtual meetings do not replace the need to be in touching distance, even when we do not physically touch each other. We can exchange information in a Teams or Zoom set up. In person, our full being in truth challenges our ability to hide who we truly are energetically.
Does the toll of work on the physical body bring about a sense of depletion or restoration? Aging is a fact of life. When what we do for a living hastens the spread of life’s markings on our bodies, a change can be made. I find that asking this question on a regular basis matters to keep my energetic levels in balance. I ask if what I do nourishes and restores me. I ask if I choose this work today. Each day. I leave in flexibility to change my mind each day because I am human.
Work is more than just what we do in exchange for money, goods, or services. I count as work my desire to bring hope and optimism to the larger Pagan, Heathen, and Polytheist communities.
The call to serve nourishes and renews me each time that I share divine wisdom in whatever setting the gods require.
I see how many subtle changes can lead to a rejuvenation of physical, emotional, and energetic spirit.
Using journaling to consider these questions helps. Individual spiritual vocation satisfies a need to grow. Regardless of religious or spiritual belief, we each have a place where our spirits are in balance. I find it with the gods in daily rites and regular ritual practice. Others may discover this internal balance on long walks or during conversations with close friends, or spending time with pets.
The gifts of this extended time include the internal and external space for critical reflection in all areas of our lives. During this time, we have the opportunity to unravel the past and rewrite the future. When we choose to embrace the fullness of Baldwin’s message in “The Creative Process”, then we see ourselves as true artists and humans. Like the artist, each of us is a trailblazer. As such, we make the choice to face and to examine ourselves and our lives with an unflinching honesty.
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