Pagans love Christmas.
Come on, admit it. We spread out during Halloween, enjoying the odd bits of press coverage we get (Eleven Things That Real Witches Do: Number Eight Will Shock You!) and getting together for Samhain to lay offerings for the ancestors or handing out candy to the little ancestors-to-be. But Christmas combines the things Pagans really can’t resist: magic, wonder, coziness, and the inescapable hegemony of being a citizen of a free country that absolutely enshrines and elevates the seasonal holidays of one large, powerful cult and shapes the cycles of everyday life to benefit the dominant religious group.
It only stands to reason that this time of year, even Witches are cuddled up on the couch to watch Christmas movies. Other entries to this canon are fun to watch, but this time of year demands a specific vibe. The vibe can narrowly be supplied without Christianity, however, and that’s where Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather (2006) comes in.
From “Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather” (2006) [RHI ENTERTAINMENT DISTRIBUTION, LLC.]
Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather is a two-part British Christmassy comedy, developed into a TV miniseries and broadcast by the now-defunct British media company Sky One. It aired over the holidays in 2006, and was the first live-action adaptation of one of the Discworld novels by British fantasy author, Terry Pratchett. Hogfather is the 20th novel in the series and was published in 1996 by Gollancz. Adapted by director and screenwriter Vadim Jean, the miniseries offers a few scares and a lot of heart, suitable for anyone who has the fortitude necessary to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993).
Our story begins at Midwinter, on the night before a holiday called Hogswatch. A shadowy figure appears in an assassin’s guild, identifying itself as “The Auditors” and offers $3 million for the death of the Hogfather – a jolly fat man who gives gifts in a manner very similar to, but legally distinct from, that of Santa Claus. The assassins agree to inhume him, recognizing him at once from a sketch though they aren’t quite sure that he really exists. Once the Hogfather is out of the picture, though, Death takes up the mantle and does the jolly fat man’s job.
The Auditors, it turns out, are after the human ability to believe. They will stop at nothing to achieve their ends, not even kidnapping Tooth Fairies and stealing teeth. The story that ensues is delightfully strange.
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The central question of Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather is: what good is belief? What does belief even do? The people of Discworld believe in the Hogfather, and ultimately that’s more powerful than the powers of the man himself, or indeed than Death. This power, familiar to most Pagans, is dual action: charging the focus of that belief with what many people call egregore, and charging the believers themselves, as well. The result is a powerful symbol without substance that many people believe in, the very image of which has the power to define an entire season, as well as inspire altruistic behavior in millions of people: eko eko Santa Claus.
Fans of Pratchett’s Discworld series will be pleased to see how closely the series follows the plot of the novel. Fans of Christmas who wish the holiday was merrier and less about Christian hegemony might like it even more; Pratchett created a world without the shadow of the cross. He keeps all that is comforting and whimsical about Dickensian British yuletide traditions and dispenses entirely with the Reason for the Season. It’s Midwinter, and that’s enough.
The introduction even goes so far as to introduce the cosmology of Discworld, showing the Earth in space as a large, flat disc with water cascading off the edge. The disc rests on the back of four titanic elephants, who in turn stand on the back of a cosmic turtle. This turtle is a nod to cosmologies from Earth, echoing the Akupara or Chukwa of Hindu mythology, or perhaps the indigenous (Lenape, Anishinaabeg, or Haudenosanee of North America) creation story of the Great Turtle, who often carries the Earth on its back. Pratchett’s choice here to introduce creation myth located far away from the Christian construction of the foundations of our existence is a conscious one: in order to land on a Christmas story that contains no whiff of the holy infant, so tender and mild, we have to start from the beginning.
Downton Abbey’s Michelle Dockery dazzles as can-do governess Susan, who beats monsters into submission with a poker and just so happens to be Death’s granddaughter. She pursues the mystery of what happened to the Hogfather in order to make her granddad’s life easier and restore balance to the world of pampered upper-class English children who expect a lot of presents at Midwinter. Ian Richardson (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) has a beautifully resonant voice for Death and puts it to good use throughout. Marc Warren is unsettling as the villainous assassin Mr. Teatime (pronounced TEH-ah-tee-AH-may), with a little prosthetic help in the eyes. The cast is charming, but so carefully costumed as to unrecognizable to all but the most dedicated BBC junkie. Pratchett’s trademark humor is toned down, making for a giggly rather than laugh-out-loud experience.
Considering it was made for television on a less-than-feature-film budget, Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather looks rich and detailed, with equal parts spooky and Christmassy sets. Viewers accustomed to the typical American breakneck pacing may find it a little slow, but it makes for three solid nights of family watching during the time we might not have work or school to celebrate someone else’s most sacred religious holiday.
If you are a Christmas-loving Pagan, Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather is a rich classic for the season that at least gestures at a world beyond the nativity scene. If you’re a Pagan who avoids Christmas as much as you possibly can (godspeed and good luck; see you at the movies on Dec. 25th) it’s a fun British miniseries about Death, assassins, evil, and the nature of belief.
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