Fallow

He spins the card, bright with marigolds, to face me. “Stop me if you’ve heard this one before – what if you let yourself be sad?” Looking at the card is easier than looking at him. “I tried,” I say. “I should be done by now.”

Salt Water

I was twenty-one, and that was the first time I had ever seen the ocean. I slept that night as close to the window as I could, straining my ears for the sound of waves. The ocean was a poetic trope, the longing of Tolkien’s elves, a setting for adventure and tragedy. I loved the idea of it, and I wanted to be lulled into sleep like the heroes of my favorite books, but that was all I knew of the water. 

The Fear of God

Who do I find the gods that fill my life now so restful?They are terrifying. The kindest of them is streaked with blood and prone to fits of violence. Their characters are complicated and often petty, their stories filled with the sorts of vengeance that humans can only feint at. Which is why I trust them. At least they’re honest about it. 

Far from the Mainstream

This is the first place that has been entirely mine, where every piece of art or display has been chosen because it represents something important to me, something that makes me happy. Trying to see it with another set of eyes feels distancing, like a particularly unpleasant magic trick. I suppose that’s fitting.