Editor’s note: This is the first in a three-part series by Rachel Mohan examining the issue of how Pagans respond to intimate partner violence.
Reflecting back on Women’s History Month, and in recognition of the House of Representatives’ recent vote to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act, The Wild Hunt is taking a look at domestic violence during the time of COVID-19. Numerous agencies, including some law enforcement bodies, women’s shelters, and hotlines, have reported a significant uptick in calls and reports of intimate partner violence during the pandemic. While further study and examination of the data is needed, experts believe that confining the abused and their abusers at home for extended periods of time may be exacerbating abusive behavior.
Victims of Domestic Violence marker, Courthouse Square, Quincy, Gadsden County, Florida [Michael Rivera, Wikimedia Commons, CC 4.0]
Although this kind of abuse is most often referred to as “domestic violence,” many experts now use the term “intimate partner violence” to describe a situation wherein a person behaves in such a way as to exert control over their partner. Intimate partner violence is not limited to physical abuse, and can also include:
- Verbal/emotional abuse
- Financial/economic abuse and intimidation
- Psychological manipulation
- Intentional property destruction
- Threats or abuse of pets
Intimate partner violence can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, socioeconomic status, educational background, religious beliefs, or faith community, according to Women’s Advocates.
Women and female-presenting people are far more likely to experience some form of intimate partner violence during their lives then men and male-presenting people. Statistics compiled by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence state this form of violence makes up 15% of all violent crime in the United States, yet the vast majority of incidents go unreported. Those cases that are reported very often do not result in any convictions, sentencing, or jail time for the perpetrators.
The reasons for such low rates of enforcement of existing law, conviction, and justice for those who experience intimate partner violence are many, but the results are that many people suffer in silence, unable to trust the law enforcement sworn to protect them. Abusers feel they can continue their behavior with impunity.
One in four women and one in ten men will experience intimate partner violence at least once in their lifetime.
“Just leave”
Understanding the reasons why people stay in abusive relationships, and why even those who are willing to leave often do not, is the key to providing support to abused people. Simply demanding that a person get up and walk out the door after their partner hits them is simplistic at best and deadly at worst. It’s common for an abuser to employ multiple forms of abuse to assert control and to make the abused feel like there is no way out.
The abuser may use children, money, or religious faith as a way to prevent the abused from leaving: “Our son will go to foster care,” “I’m the breadwinner and you need money for another place to live,” “You should be praying for our relationship.” It is unclear how often Pagan belief or faith is a factor in keeping a person from leaving a situation involving intimate partner violence, but the possibility cannot be discounted, especially when many agencies and social workers are disposed to look unfavorably on allegations of magic, Witchcraft, or even anything seen as an alternative lifestyle.
It’s not uncommon to see news articles describing a rise in child abuse linked to Witchcraft or “black magic,” such as this article in The Guardian from 2019. (TWH responded to that article here.) For the general public, as well as workers in child protective services, these dramatic headlines can be misleading and potentially damaging and dangerous if people seeking assistance are “outed,” either by an abuser, by themselves, or by another person unwittingly. The fear of having one’s children taken away, as well as guilt for breaking up the family unit, will often trump the fear of continuing to receive abuse from a partner.
The coronavirus’s other side effects
As the United States passes the anniversary of a year under lockdowns and COVID-19 restrictions, its citizens also mark a year of what has long been a problem hidden in plain sight – a problem that is for so many people simply hidden altogether. Every indication from assistance agencies, women’s shelters, and law enforcement is that COVID-19 restrictions have coincided with a significant increase in reports of intimate partner violence.
Many experts are now referring to intimate partner violence during the coronavirus as “a pandemic within a pandemic.” Globally, one report after another points to a disturbing trend of increased frequency and severity of intimate partner violence and resulting injuries and deaths.
Reports in the US are largely anecdotal, as much of the data have not been formalized nationwide, but Portland, Oregon’s police department reported a 22% increase in arrests related to intimate partner violence in the weeks after a stay-at-home order was issued.
Worldwide, countries continue to compile and analyze data. Argentina reported a 25% increase in intimate partner violence since that country’s lockdown began. France has seen a 30% increase. Experts theorize that added stressors, such as illness resulting from COVID-19 infections, confining both partners to the home, job loss and a decrease in income, and the addition of children in the home full-time may all be contributing and triggering factors.
Basing rates of intimate partner violence on the number of calls agencies receive may be dangerous, however. Because victims are confined with their attackers, it is far more difficult for them to reach out to request help. Additionally, Black and brown communities may be reticent to involve law enforcement out of a lack of trust or fear of additional violence.
Demonstrators wearing protective face masks hold placards during an anti-domestic violence protest on July 24, 2020 in Warsaw, Poland. Thousands of demonstrators took part in a protest against government plan to pull out of an international treaty on preventing and combating domestic violence. (Photo by Aleksander Kalka/NurPhoto via Getty Images)
Intimate partner violence is a tip of the iceberg scenario, in that we see only the reported cases and not the many more that go unseen. Most intimate partner violence is not reported. And of all professions in the U.S., law enforcement families themselves are most likely to experience intimate partner violence. As many as 40% of families with a family member in law enforcement have reported an incident. Whether this high incidence is reflected in any bias on the part of law enforcement when receiving or following up on reports is unclear.
The role of faith
There is a substantial body of work documenting how the role of major faiths — especially Judeo-Christian faiths — impacts or affects people navigating issues around intimate partner violence and relationships. While a number of those resources can be helpful or applicable for Pagan persons, there are still significant gaps in how to best serve those of non-Christian faiths.
Paganism is an incredibly broad term that constitutes a dazzling array of beliefs and faith systems. While many may explore and practice their faith in kindreds, groups, covens, and other arrangements, most Pagans have no formal or informal affiliations with any groups. Who do we as Pagans turn to in times of crisis, and what happens when we do seek help?
Many shelters and assistance organizations are church-affiliated or faith-based. This may be a factor for a Pagan person who is seeking help, as they may feel pressured to conform to faith practices that do not align with their beliefs.
Currently there are no known shelters that are explicitly Pagan-friendly, but calling for Pagan-centered shelters may be sidestepping the issue — far more urgent is the need for continuing to educate assistance organizations, shelters, social workers, and law enforcement regarding faith-based bias. Navigating a complicated system in an attempt to get to a safer situation is compounded when questions of witchcraft come into play and those in power do not understand the Pagan practice in question.
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