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Why, in the name of all that is good and holy, is anyone still paying attention to Kirk Cameron? In what way is this former teen television star turned laughable Christian caricature relevant enough to our culture to get a primetime interview slot on CNN? Does anyone really care about his views on homosexuality or same-sex marriage? The stark truth is that his once familiar face, tied to his evangelical Christian views, are the only thing keeping him on the fame radar (albeit in a d-list reality-television manner). However, since there are still folks out there who seem to take Mr. Cameron seriously for some reason, here’s a gold-plated proof that no one, not even the most fervent Christian “Growing Pains” star, should give his “crocoduck” theology mainstream attention.

Crocoduck proves God exists!

Crocoduck proves God exists!

In 2006, Cameron used his “excellent acting talents” to “infiltrate” a Druid ritual. Specifically, a ritual put on by Ravens Cry Grove (part of Ár nDraíocht Féin) in Southern California. Cameron and Ray “Banana” Comfort secretly recorded the ritual, and lied about secretly recording the ritual when questioned about it (because it’s OK to lie to non-Christians apparently). You can download the show, here. You can also find an edited version of the segment, here.

Ravens Cry Grove (part of Ár nDraíocht Féin).

Ravens Cry Grove, the folks Kirk Cameron were concerned might sacrifice him.

Cameron says he thought he got out of there “by the skin of his teeth,” insinuating that he felt endangered by a group of California Druids singing, chanting, and sharing fellowship. This is the man who CNN wants to talk about religion with. This is the man Piers Morgan calls “brave” and “honest” for spouting the same old conservative Christian party line about marriage and homosexuality that has fallen increasingly out of favor in the United States. The bitter truth is that Cameron is a sad has-been who depends on someone, anyone, finding him offensive so he can feed his attention-starved ego for a few moments more. Even sadder, mainstream media outlets are obliging, when they could have picked from a thousand theologians, scholars, or religious leaders to opine about morality or marriage. Instead, we have the star of “Left Behind 2: Tribulation Force.”

In the future, when CNN or any other major news network decide to give Kirk Cameron precious airtime that could be used to discuss serious issues, or talk with actually important figures, just remember they are instead bolstering the limping career of a man who thought infiltrating a Druid grove in California was a dangerous and worthwhile activity. Cameron’s views on marriage and homosexuality are offensive to me, but I’m almost as offended by the media outlets who seem to think giving him a spotlight is a good idea.

ADDENDUM: When I wrote this post yesterday, I quoted a site called “Objective: Ministries.” It seems they are a hoax website that  specializes in blurring the line between parody and reality. Kirk Cameron really did “infiltrate” a Druid ritual, and really did a radio show where he bragged about his ability to fool the Druids, but the rhetoric I quoted from Objective: Ministries is not “real.” Though, it sounded so like Christian rhetoric I’ve heard elsewhere that I didn’t even think to double-check it. So, in short, I was punked. I’ve removed quotations from that site, leaving everything else intact. Mea Culpa.