The world of magic and the occult is nothing if not versatile, and we have three recent news items to prove it. We start with a story from Miller-McCune magazine about suburban teens getting involved in gangs. While the bulk of the story sticks with the problems of drug-related activity, gang-banging, and violence, they also interview “consultant on gangs” Dan Korem. A former independent journalist and “Christian illusionist”, he now offers a profiling consultancy service that claims to have solved the problem of school shootings. Like many Christian gang experts, he can’t help but lump occult activities in with dealing crack and killing people.

“Korem, who wrote about the phenomenon of spreading gangs in his 1994 book Suburban Gangs, The Affluent Rebels, identified four types of juvenile gangs. Ideological gangs include people with a particular worldview, such as neo-Nazis, skinheads, anarchists or even environmental extremists. Cult gangs get into Satanism or other occult activities. Delinquent gangs are packs of kids whose activities can start with graffiti and vandalism and escalate to theft, assault and even catastrophic violence such as school shootings. At the time Korem started studying the phenomenon in the 1980s for Suburban Gangs, these delinquent gangs were the most common type. As the population of teens contracted in the ’90s, delinquent gangs fell, then rose again as the population expanded in the mid-2000s. Street gangs are a subclass of delinquent gangs.”

Cult gangs! Yeah, you see those everywhere. I heard the other day where there was a drive-by spell-casting perpetrated by the East-side LaVeyans on the West-side Setians over control of a local occult shop. A dozen Wiccans were reportedly wounded in the astral cross-fire! I’m not sure about Todd Pitock, the author of this article, but when I’m looking for an expert to quote I check their background first. While I’m sure Mr. Korem is a capable and smart individual, an expert in gangs and profiling who doesn’t list his academic and practical training should set off red flags.

Turning from something that’s faintly absurd to something intentionally funny, the Scotsman’s Edinburgh Festival guide profiles “occult comedian” Andrew O’Neill.

“It is wholly personal, fascinating stuff, original and left-field to the point of bumping into the perimeter fence. He has a spirited discussion with himself about black metal, death metal and Swedish death metal and does a couple of knock-knock jokes before carrying on to The Satanic Bible and Aleister Crowley. I suggest you do not leave Edinburgh before hearing him on the subject of the trials and tribulations of being a vegan transvestite (loved the neon pink stockings, by the way). O’Neill is a charming, genuine stage presence. Most of the time he is anecdotal or enthusiastically explaining the benefits of the occult and black magic, about which he certainly knows his stuff. What adds an extra layer of enjoyment is that he can, out of the blue (or perhaps the black) be wonderfully punny one minute and thrillingly acid the next.”

You can find out more about O’Neill at his web site. You can see a clip of him mocking British astrologers, here. Is this the first stand-up act to self-consciously bill itself as “occult”? Could Andrew O’Neill be the start of a occult-flavored comedy underground? Will Discordians start sweating now that they have some serious competition as the “funny ones” at festivals? These, and other pertinent questions remain open.

In a final, somewhat frivolous, note, gossip tabloids are alleging that pop-star Jessica Simpson hired a Witch to curse her ex-boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo.

“A source told National Enquirer magazine: “Jessica is normally a really sweet girl, but she still can’t believe Tony callously dumped her.” “She found a woman in California. The two met at the star’s Beverly Hills home where they lit a candle, burned some incense and performed a couple of incantations.” The scorned singer-and-actress hopes the meeting will also taint the sportsman’s career, and is waiting in readiness for his next match on September 13, against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.”

I suppose interested parties can now check the sports highlights to see if Simpson got her (alleged) money’s worth. If it doesn’t work, maybe should hook up with some of the occult gangs hanging around in suburban neighborhoods, they are no doubt more “hard-core” for the down-and-dirty curse-magick.

That’s all I have for now, have a great day.

Tags: Andrew O'Neill, Christianity, comedy, Dan Korem, Jessica Simpson, law, Magic, Magick, occult, Satanism