A Raptured Roundup of Pagan News

Jason Pitzl-Waters —  May 21, 2011 — 26 Comments

Well, it looks like Harold Camping was wrong, all the faithful Christians were not raptured up to Heaven, instead all the devout Pagan bloggers have ascended to a higher plane. Yes, I’m typing this post from “heaven.” Why not? The Talking Heads were right, nothing ever happens up here.

Still, manipulating my keyboard from the celestial abode is taxing, so I’ll just do a quick roundup of some news links. Hopefully I’ll be reincarnated by tomorrow so I can resume my normal blogging duties.

That’s all I have for now! I expect I’ll be corporeal tomorrow so I can celebrate Harvey Milk Day and World Goth Day respectively.

Jason Pitzl-Waters


  • Haakon

    “I’m typing this post from ‘heaven’…nothing ever happens up here.”
    Stop typing. Sif and Thrudr are handing out horns of mead in Hlidskjalf Hall. Hurry!

    Well, too bad this rapture thing didn’t pan out. I was dreaming of a world without xians as I always do about a world devoid of abrahamic influence. Maybe next time.

    • you forget we'd still have the muslims, and no Christian "haters" to hold them off from coming for our heathen heads. 😛

      • Crystal7431

        Ssshhh. I'm not sure they know about us yet.

  • Baruch Dreamstalker

    Regarding this expostmodern thing: Being a techno-optimist I expect the day to arrive when we will be able to upload ourselves and to meet in brain-to-brain virtual space that the mind cannot distinguish from real space. (Wait a minute, does that make me an optimist or a pessimist? Ah, well, a question for another day.) Until the arrival of Upload Planet the digital experience of another person will lack the depth and the compelling nature of face to face gathering.

    Obviously the current digital experience has some punch to it or there be neither cyberporn nor cyberchurch. But the f2f experience will have depth and compelling aspect as a competitive selling point, and will be a long time going extinct.

    My $0.02.

    • "I expect the day to arrive when we will be able to upload ourselves and to meet in brain-to-brain virtual space that the mind cannot distinguish from real space."

      Isn't that also the plot to Caprica?

      • Baruch Dreamstalker

        Could very well be; I no longer follow the movies as much as I used to.

      • Bookhousegal

        Intriguing, though of course one of the very good articles cited here isn't so much about telling the virtual world from the physical one, as it is about real and present spirit *in* the worlds. (Certainly in this case as spiritual contact *through* physical experience, which of course we're very big on. )

        It may well be technologically possible to emulate the brain's reactions to a *lot* of states, maybe even some that we may experience through, ah, nonconventional means. 'Virtual reality' might emulate a lot of things the body and brain does and sees through 'journey' ……maybe not in all places. Some of those seem more 'real' than *this,* but even if *that* could be emulated through technological tricks, who's gonna *script* it? It's hard to even *describe* in terms like that, but even so, trying to replicate such an experience would at *best* give you a sort of mandala, or maybe what RJ Stewart's fine 'tarot' deck tries to plug into. (Whatever happened to that, websites aside? That's good stuff. 🙂 )

        More to the point, who'd even *try,* especially if they intended to do more than sell something and distract.

        In a way, the Net's just another kind of dream. No harder to poke into than what most call 'RL' and sometimes a little easier. If people start 'living' there, it doesn't change too much from some perspectives. Compared to where we already are, anyway.

        I don't share Baruch's 'optimism' about it all, but perhaps it's not the worst possible outcome, either. Sometimes the 'real world' is hard graft compared to even this, and hard on the Mother, too. I think we really, really, really *need the 'real' world* For life, and contact, (Especially if you aren't already in the habit of ditching the ol' mortal coil on a regular basis since a Commodore 64 was some kind of cutting edge) …But.

        When it comes right down to it, a lot of what we *do* call 'work and play' is harder on the world than is really viable. There could be some useful things to the tech in this regard. As well as obvious dangers, but in a way we get those anyway.

  • Bookhousegal

    Still sort of formulating thoughts here, but this discussion of 'expostmodernism' seems pretty important to me.

    The first thing I'm struck by is that perhaps the fears of information-age rootlessness and detachment are *actually* what may be part of such an 'expostmodernism' for Pagans indeed: I've tended to associate those very things with developments of the 'postmodern' era, itself, and I tend to wonder if our reaction to such developments might not as often go the other way: if much of the economy is to be based on the notion one could be *anywhere,* wouldn't that mean that we can *gather* for that which personal presence is good?

    There are, after all, equally-strong movements toward sustainable living, local economies, …community-building, in other words, and I think this means that the changes in society and the way people live and work could indeed mean that we can and may tend to actually gather: the very tension which seems to exist in us about embracing information technology yet seeking for real relationships with each other and the land almost cries out for it. It's clear that the *working* world may seek to keep people rootless and interchangeable, in a way, but it's in that very motion we may find ourselves re-settling, clustering: which may be a thing worth putting some intention toward.

    In order to really live our Pagan values, it seems almost inevitable: not so much intentional community, but intending to *be* community. And even as we are scattered all over, also to have places where we do gather, in enclaves, neighborhoods, maybe even villages. Part of the world around, but also together, and with our own many spins on things. ….There are clearly signs of this in our various 'Paganistans' …and in the greater economy , we clearly can't expect to see the 'infinite growth' model to keep defining 'progress' forever, no matter how much of life and work may become 'virtual.' It makes sense for the real human contact to be the part that more or less stays put, once we're in sustainable sorts of community. If many of us can be 'anywhere,' then why not? 🙂

    I do think, in this, it may be a common e

  • While the 'witches becoming the new vampires' might seem cool at first, I usually find witches in the media extremely annoying. The Craft was a pretty lousy film in my opinion, a bunch of really greedy teens that can barely be called friends that almost immediately misuse their new powers…Great… I also hated Charmed during it's run; I thought the three of them were morons, running around making bad decisions and worrying way too much about their love lives or whatever. I think it's a combination of how women are dipected in the media and how said women are depicting witchcraft to the rest of the population that really gets under my skin.

    • Kevin Norwood

      I agree I have always disliked those types of movies & shows for that same reason. For some reason or another people think these movies & such are good for Pagans. When in fact all they do is make us look bad & even worse stupid.

  • Ralph

    I think the Rapture crowd is going to be upset if the get up there naked.

    • chuck_cosimano

      If I end up there naked hell will get very crowded as everyone dives out of heaven in sheer horror.

    • Crystal7431

      In Rapture-speak that would be "nekkid".

  • The whole "expostmodern" thing has begun to bother me because of the very word "expostmodern." I realize that religion, and analysis of religion from within it, is a big deal. That said… this way of spiritual networking examined isn't new. A lot of it's already been done – and rejected, or else it's already mutated. We have to look hard at the way Pagans tend to house both very early adopters and stubborn holdout late-adopters; the combination of the two makes for a strange, slow-to-adapt, slightly behind approach to technology, communication and its integration into personal lifestyles and religious outlooks.

    Also, declaring thins "ex" and "post" suggests that all time and development stops here, with us. I don't think that's true.

  • Lori F – MN

    Well, if it's only those who have followed the letter of the 10 commandments, no one who is Christian would make it to heaven. Christians worship Jesus. That would disqualify them.
    After all if God were the equivilent to King/Queen then wouldn't it be treasonous to promote a prince/princess above the king/queen?

  • Obsidian

    Who took the photo of your leftover sandles and such? (Love it, BTW. Great Photographer. 😉

  • Crystal7431

    The old pastor was wrong. It wasn't "rapture" but "raptor" and they caught him and tranquilized him before he could do any harm. He's been transferred to the National Zoo's Conservation and Research Center for testing.

  • Pitch313

    Maybe it's an eldritch entertainment cycle, because not too long ago, weren't vampires the "new" witches? So now. witches have turned into the "new" vampires?

    And who are the "new" zombies? Werewovles? Cylons? Sceenwriters? Producers? Showrunners?

    The way I see it, for us supernatural-energy-tapping, Earth-venerating, charm-singing, dancing-with-the-Deities, dep-hearted Pagan types–that OLD BLACK MAGIC IS THE 'NEW' BLACK MAGIC!.

  • Jag

    Judging from the photo evidence, Jason goes commando…

    oh I'm so bad…

    but i couldn't help myself!!!

    • Jason Pitzl-Waters

      Maybe I was wearing special Rapture-Ready underwear.