Paganism! Paganism! Paganism!

Jason Pitzl-Waters —  March 9, 2010 — 22 Comments

It’s time for the Pagan hysteria watch, where we spotlight some stories and editorials that get a wee bit over-excited in their rhetoric. Let’s start with an obvious source, conservatives defining environmental activism, and agreement with the scientific consensus concerning climate change, as a “new paganism”.

“As many commentators and “global warming skeptics” have observed, climate science has metamorphosed into a religion—or, more accurately, a cult in religious dress. It has its high priests (Al Gore, David Suzuki, James Hansen, Rajendra Pachauri), its sacred texts such as computer models whose inconsistencies and disparities are blithely ignored by the myriads of true believers, its prevailing orthodoxies that cannot safely be questioned or violated…”

Yes, it must be a “religion”, because “more and more evidence is surfacing against global warming claims”, even though the majority of that “evidence” has been overblown and distorted in the media, and the scientific community is being increasingly bullied by activists and politicians for not changing their position on global warming. Maybe they want to prove it’s a religion by producing martyrs? In any case, while times are tough for Al Gore (a “high priest” of the “new paganism”), our current President doesn’t escape accusations that he’s involving us all in paganism!

“For some Americans, Easter is a religious holiday to pay homage to the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, whom they consider to be the Son of God. But for President Barack Obama, this is a day to worship the environmental pagan goddess of ‘Mother Earth.’ No word yet, on whether the government-sponsored pagan worshippers at the Air Force Academy have been invited to attend ceremonies at the White House Easter Egg Roll ceremonies this year.”

When did the traditional White House Easter celebration become a ceremony for Gaia? Apparently when he decided to use environmentally friendly easter eggs in the ceremony! Gasp! Choke!

“A White House announcement Monday said the eggs at this year’s April 5 roll will be made from paperboard that contains no wood fibers from endangered forests, is recyclable and features vegetable-oil based inks and a water-based coating.”

Not paperboard! Nooooo! It’s like “The Wicker Man”, only not.

Of course “pagan” hysteria isn’t relegated to politics or scientific theories, real-live actual Pagans  also spark it. Just look at this bizarre story in the Queensland (Australia) Southern Star, which brings us the shocking story of two Pagan teenagers getting married … with the consent of their parents!

“A TEENAGER plans to marry a schoolgirl in a pagan ceremony next month with the bride’s mother officiating … Holland Park High School student Jenni, 16, said of the handfasting: “We’ll just see how it goes.” Jenni’s mother and pagan high priestess Sue Birch, of Lawnton, will perform the ceremony.”

Shocking! Wait, why is this a story again? Don’t teenagers get married with the consent of their parents all the time? This is obviously not meeting the desired hysteria quotient, better bring in a rabid anti-Pagan nutter to close out the article.

Pagan marriage is not recognised under Australian law, which stipulates those marrying must be 18 years or older. Christian Democrat Party leader and anti-pagan campaigner Reverend Fred Nile said: “(Handfasting) can’t be in any way acknowledged by the state and should not be listed as a genuine wedding. Our party will do what it can to stop pagan weddings and witchcraft or Wicca activities.’’

There we go, that’s better. We wouldn’t want things to get too reasoned and uncontroversial around here. But even if Wicca becomes utterly useless in drumming up hysteria, we’ll still have Santeria and Vodou to exploit.

“Raised in violent ghetto neighborhoods, Ramirez grew up despising his father for his careless disregard of his family. He learned to live like a street animal to survive the cold, harsh streets of the South Bronx. Looking for love and validation, he eventually found it in a new “family” of witches and warlocks who groomed him to become a high priest in their occult religion. Ramirez’s plunge into the dark side reached a boiling point on the night he sold his soul to the devil in a diabolical, blood-soaked ritual. With renewed fervor–and the mark of the beast now cut into his right arm–he actively recruited souls into this “unholy kingdom,” haunting the bars and clubs of NYC by night to find his next victims, including those who professed faith in Christ. His life continued on this dark path for 25 years until God intervened through a larger-than-life dream, revealing Himself for who He really is and snatching Ramirez back from the pit of hell.  Out of the Devil’s Caldron walks you through the dark alleys of the occult religions of Santeria, Palo Mayombe, and espiritismo (spiritualism) while exposing the hidden secrets of darkness.”

There’s always a new “other” to point the finger at, another form of “paganism” to demonize, wouldn’t want the fear and hysteria to die out would we? If we start having civil discussion about these issues, who knows what could happen? Maybe we’d all become Pagans?

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Jason Pitzl-Waters

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  • rhondda

    Nice try. No cigar.

  • http://www.robinartisson.com Robin Artisson

    A superb answer, Lady. I wish you well in whatever you do.

  • Baruch Dreamstalker

    From a coldly secular viewpoint it's better that these kids have their experimental sex in some kind of sacred framework to encourage the growth of responsibility and mutuality, whatever one's sect.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Riverbend Riverbend

    It's been called "the reality-based community" elsewhere…:)

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Teaa Tea

    Why is it better than experimental sex without a "sacred framework"?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/KhalilaRedBird KhalilaRedBird

    Except, per Catholic doctrine and belief , they ARE eating the flesh and blood of Christ as a result of the magical act of the transubstantiation.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Crystal7431 Crystal7431

    "Lifetime, television for idiots" a la Family Guy. Sorry, couldn't help it.

  • rhondda

    I raise my beer to that Robin. Bess you and may you always state your truth. (although in person we may hate each other. I know I am a bitch)

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Crystal7431 Crystal7431

    I have to say though, that Pagan couple is completely adorable. Oh, to be that young…

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Crystal7431 Crystal7431

    Unfortunately.

  • Advent

    I love this! “…Looking for love and validation, he eventually found it in a new “family” of witches and warlocks who groomed him to become a high priest in their occult religion. [reaching] a boiling point on the night he sold his soul to the devil in a diabolical, blood-soaked ritual.”

    I know I saw that in a movie once… One of the great Hammer Film productions I think. It all comes from selling one’s soul to cheap.

    And he became predatory at that! At least he was saved by Christianity (bad guy gets started mean, is overcome by divine promise of goodness, stops terrifying victims, etc). But they cut the plot short. Where’s the beautiful girl who gets saved in the end? Where is SHE?

  • http://witchesandscientists.blogspot.com Gene

    Riverbend, don't tell Repend Amarillo about that, the 'reality-based community' will wind up on their hit list. :)

  • Baruch Dreamstalker

    As I said, to encourage the growth of responsibility and mutuality.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/niflungr niflungr

    Awesome idea for a bit of ontological warfare. ;-)

  • Nick Ritter

    For the record, though, I've never felt like a "whipping boy" here.

  • lonespark

    Thanks for the grin!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/thewildhunt Jason Pitzl-Waters

    Nor do I think of you in that manner.

  • Ananta Androscoggin

    You gave me a memory flash of T-shirts once sold in Alaska that said: "Prudhoe doesn't pump — Valdisease Sucks!"

  • http://www.robinartisson.com Robin Artisson

    That's your opinion, Pax. I find it very clever the way some of the sharpest can dry-gulch people.

  • http://www.robinartisson.com Robin Artisson

    You're welcome. It's just another one of my fine services, given for free online and off. Peace out.

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