The Witch and the Christian FedEx Guy

Jason Pitzl-Waters —  January 9, 2010 — 18 Comments

Ever wonder what delivery drivers do in-between stops? Well, at least one driver for FedEx in New Jersey apparently dispenses Chick Tracts to people who display non-Christian bumper stickers. A “Goddess Bless America” bumper sticker on Wiccan author Trish Reynolds‘ car was seemingly too tempting a target for FedEx driver Brian Kaufman, who decided that the Halloween-themed tract “Boo!” would send the appropriate message.

“Apparently upset, Kaufman went back to his truck and returned to place a small pamphlet under the windshield wiper of Reynolds’ car. Kaufman had driven away by the time Reynolds went out to her car to find the pamphlet was a cartoon titled “Boo,” that focused on the evils of witches and their danger to Christians. Among other things, the cartoon depicts an evil Halloween pumpkin, accuses Wiccans of committing human sacrifices and links Wiccans with Satan … Reynolds later complained to FedEx and Kaufman subsequently returned to speak with Reynolds about her complaint.  Reynolds said Kaufman was not apologetic but simply repeated his objections to what he considers Wiccan beliefts.”

A FedEx spokesperson said that they were “taking steps with the driver” over the matter, that the drivers behavior was “inappropriate”, and that they don’t condone drivers using company time to hand out crazy conspiracy-laden hate literature (unless, I assume, you are paying them to deliver it to you). In a unique extra step, Mt Oliver Chronicle reporter Phil Garber called up Chick Publications to get their reaction to the situation. They are, of course, the persecuted party in all this.

“We see them as lost,” Rockney said. “Without the lord, we are all lost.” She said she was not surprised that the group is listed as a hate group because, “anytime you go to tell the gospel of Jesus, you’ll have people hate you for that.”

Just wait, if Mr. Kaufman ends up losing his job over this, you can expect the usual suspects to start crying “persecution”. As for FedEx, I’m sure it was an isolated incident, and that most of the kind and industrious drivers could care less what our bumper-stickers say. Oh, and you can find a listing of Trish Reynold’s books, here.

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Jason Pitzl-Waters


  • Labrys

    Lost, are we? I don't want to be found.

    • whitewolf

      I hope that driver gets fired. Leave your personal beliefs at the door when you clock in.

  • Trish Reynolds

    Ground Driver – so probably nothing will happen to him except all the bad press of course…but that will probably just make him a hero in his own circle of friends.

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  • Rebecca

    Hhmmm …. Maybe someone with mad Photoshop skills could wipe out the text and put in something satirical. Like that strip with the guy being judged by Zeus.
    Could be fun. :)

    • Micky-P

      ” accuses Wiccans of committing human sacrifice”

      Wow I didn’t realize that “Druid” and “Wiccan” were interchangeable words

      Or that Druids had Ankh headed starves for that matter…

  • RavenB

    …my hubby's my biggest defender from ppl like that, and he's a recovering Jehovah's Witness!!

  • Tea

    That is hilarious…and scary.

  • Jarred Harris

    Sadly, irony is lost on most people these days.

  • Heather

    Voldy turning into Cheney? That must not have taxed the morphing process much.

  • Heather

    Buddhist, sorry.

    • Heather

      I couldn't honestly remember how long he was out in the desert. I agree with you that Jesus talking with the local leaders would make more sense.

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  • Bad Alice

    Druids with pumpkins? *rolling around on floor laughing hysterically*
    Check your facts there!

  • Kat

    For that matter, Druids with Ahnks! For the record I think that would be an awesome name for a rock band. 😛

  • Lokisgodhi

    Well they *were* the evil minions of Satan doing his bidding, so if they wanted pumpkins they could simply conjure them up.

  • Baruch

    Actually, I kinda favor Druids with Pumpkins. (Uh-oh, a schism…)

  • Cole Gillette

    Genuinely humorous ankh-toting, pumpkin-carving “Druids” aside, I doubt I would be alone here in suspecting that had the driver been distributing anti-Semitic literature, anti-black pamphlets, or even anti-Muslim tracts to Jews, black folk, and Muslims, respectively, he would in all likelihood no longer have a job with FedEx.

    But anti-“witchcraft” pamphlets? No big deal! The only thing that could possibly be less concering to the average American than some instance of the widespread homophobia we tolerate so readily would be the mistreatment of kooky, hippy-dippy, liberal-minded New Agers–you know, Wiccans. When that happens, the driver is asked to talk with (and does not apologize to) the victim of his harassment, and FedEx takes “steps with [him]”.

    In my opinion, the only talking should have taken place between the driver and his manager, and the only “step taken”, the driver’s summary dismissal from his position.