Quick Note: Make Your Living As A Witch

Jason Pitzl-Waters —  July 8, 2009 — 11 Comments

Ever wish you could make a career from your practice of Witchcraft? Wish no longer! Wookey Hole Caves, a tourist attraction in Somerset, England, is looking for a full-time Witch to do witchy things all day long.

“So the job is straightforward: live in the cave, be a witch, and do the things witches do. Wookey Hole is advertising nationally and hopes to attract a strong field of candidates, with the £50K salary serving as a major incentive. Interviews for the post, which will involve on-site assessment incorporating a range or standard tasks, will take place on Tuesday 28th July at 11am. Given the nature of the role, Wookey Hole has decided to run the process on an “open audition” basis. Ambitious witches, looking for a key career move, should turn up dressed for work and bring any essential witch accoutrements. A limited range of potion ingredients will be available.”

Could this be Kevin Carlyon’s big chance? Will they film the auditions? But before some of the more, ahem, flamboyant members of our community consider emigrating for a chance at the job, keep in mind they have some pretty firm ideas of what their ideal witch would be like.

“Wookey Hole wants the appointee to go about her everyday business as a hag, so that people passing through the caves can get a sense of what the place was like in the Dark Ages. This was when an old woman lived in the caves with some goats and a dog, causing a variety of social ills including crop failures and disease. She also turned the local milk rancid.”

I can turn milk rancid, but only by forgetting in the back of the fridge for too long. As for social ills? Well, we support gay marriage. Would that do? They whole thing seems rather embarrassing and offensive, but then again, in this economy a decent salary is hard to come by.

Jason Pitzl-Waters