Giving New Meaning to the Term ‘Customer Service’

Jason Pitzl-Waters —  January 16, 2009 — 2 Comments

I was just going to let this one slide at first, but so many of my readers have tipped me off to this story that I now feel compelled to mention it. It seems that Lithuania’s most famous witch, Vilija Lobaciuviene, has been hired by a collections firm to call delinquent customers unwilling to part with their cash during this global economic downturn. Lobaciuviene will help these individuals “understand the situation” so that they pay up.

“Our new employee will help them to understand the situation, reconsider what is right and wrong and act accordingly,” he said. “We will also help those who are in real trouble, suffering from psychological impact of bankruptcy and depression.” Lobaciuviene, who describes herself as “Lithuania’s leading witch,” is renowned in the former Soviet republic of 3.4 million people for providing such “magical” services as predicting the future and casting spells. She claims to use hypnosis, herbal medicines and “the bio-energy field” when helping her “patients.” Asked to comment on her new job, Lobaciuviene, 53, told The Associated Press on Thursday that she is happy to be of assistance. “I am free citizen and can do whatever I like. I am glad someone needs my help and I will do whatever I can to help people,” she said.

You have to wonder what the carrot/stick ratio is for these friendly phone calls from the famous witch. I can’t imagine there isn’t a least an undertone of “or else” is such attempts to get people to “reconsider”. As for Vilija Lobaciuviene, I can only imagine she’s pleased with the power and prestige such international publicity brings her. Let’s just hope this trend doesn’t spread to America, the last thing I need is a call from Laurie Cabot inquiring about my outstanding loans.

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Jason Pitzl-Waters


  • chuck_cosimano

    Sounds like an interesting business arrangement. I wonder if I can market my services for that. ha ha.

  • Kat

    Now Hiring 'Repo Man (or Woman)'. Must be stealthy. Mind reading and spell casting skills preferred. Will train.